


When You Say Nothing At All

by Jas1922



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Switch, Alternative Universe - Mafia, M/M, Mentions of Violence/Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:31:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jas1922/pseuds/Jas1922
Summary: Kyungsoo thinks Jongin doesn't love him because he always has a bunch of girls over.





	When You Say Nothing At All

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Written for Best Days Of Our Lives Kaisoo Fest (2017).  
> 2\. Fic also posted on AFF.

It pains him to act like it doesn’t hurt.

 

Kyungsoo used to wear his heart on his sleeve all the time, but ten years living in this harsh reality has him learning how to better hide his emotions. 

 

After all, feelings are a dangerous game, and he doesn’t want to be the one who ends up being dealt the bad card. 

 

“I’ll see you and the girls again tonight.” A low voice fills the otherwise silent air. 

 

Kyungsoo maintains his poker face and takes another slow sip of his coffee. His demeanour calm, but on the inside, he is desperately trying to disregard the sudden emergence of Jongin from the latter’s bedroom. 

 

With tousled blond hair and upper body bare to flaunt impressive six-pack abs, the mafia king is the very embodiment of hot and sexy –– a man of power, and unattainable in Kyungsoo’s eyes. 

 

The whole gang gathered by the table for breakfast lets out a chorus of catcalls as they watch Jongin accept the light parting kiss he receives on the cheek with a small smile. He then waves Ahreum goodbye, the woman sending him a sultry wink before taking her leave, and stumbles over with eyes still drooping at half-mast, as if he hadn’t had enough sleep the night before.

 

It isn’t hard for one to guess what Jongin had been up to for him to not have retired for the night earlier. 

 

After all, their gang is used to having overnight guests from the brothel down the street.

 

“I really admire you, bro!” Sehun teases from where he sits beside a still silent Kyungsoo. 

 

“How do you even have the energy to keep up with so many of them? I know there were others besides Ahreum in your bed last night. Heard them leaving when I got up to take a piss.” 

 

Jongin ignores the younger and swings open the fridge door to stick his head in, most likely in search for ice water (or maybe just to get away from the nonsense spouting from Sehun’s mouth). 

 

The youngest doesn’t notice the warning looks the other gang members give him, too oblivious to pay any heed to the stewing man beside him as well. 

 

“I’m surprised Jongin Jr. hasn’t shrivelled up and died.” Sehun lifts a finger to point, effectively bringing everyone’s eyes to follow in the same direction. 

 

Kyungsoo hopes the sudden heat he feels isn’t that of an emerging blush on his cheeks, and he averts his eyes in a split second. 

 

One would think he shouldn’t feel shy, especially since he has been well acquainted with _Jongin Jr._ for the past couple of years.

 

Chanyeol snorts so hard through his glass of milk that the drink spills painfully from his nose. Jongdae and Minseok, the two who were sitting nearest to him, jump back in their seats in disgust, while Sehun sniggers at the choking man who has grown incredibly red in the face. 

 

Despite the commotion, Jongin glances down unabashedly at his morning wood that was creating a tent in his boxers before shrugging. 

 

“Soo~” 

 

The said male stiffens only slightly when the elder calls out to him in a sickeningly sweet voice. It’s rare to witness. Jongin used to always seek out Kyungsoo in the morning, but not anymore since he started having the girls over. 

 

“Please tell me you’ll let me off from overseeing the deal with the Chinese later? I’m still a little hungover.” 

 

The smaller man shoves Jongin’s arm wrapped around his shoulders off with a practiced scowl, even if inwardly he wishes the other’s rare touch could stay with him forever. 

 

“Get your whore-tainted paws off me, you punk.” Kyungsoo sneers before resuming his breakfast, all the while attempting to erase the image of the pout forming on Jongin’s face from his mind. 

 

 _He is not cute. Repeat after me. That pout is not cute –– Fuck, he looks like a sad puppy_. Kyungsoo clears his throat awkwardly. 

 

“You know you have to go. No more discussion.” He edges out finally.

 

“Kyungsoo’s right, of course.” Junmyeon cuts in, waving a fork in the air, gesturing at the pair. “We always seem to get a better deal when you’re present. 13% profit margin was what we got last month.” He seeks confirmation from his tablet and nods when the numbers come up. 

 

“I honestly think Yifan’s scared of you, big boss. Can you imagine it though? Those bushy eyebrows twitching whenever he sees you... I thought they looked like breakdancing worms. Ironic ain’t it? Because, _you know_ –– we call him angry bird. Geddit? Worms on birds? Did you guys know worms are a huge part of a bird’s primary diet?” He whispers before laughing to himself, prodding at Yixing’s arm for some support when silence descends.

 

The whole kitchen was quiet, eyeing Junmyeon and judging his strange knack of passing incomprehensible comments, sometimes even lame jokes, at the most inappropriate of times.

 

“Uhm, not funny?” Junmyeon’s voice trails off into a frown. 

 

Yixing pats his lower back to comfort him, but only because he is obligated to as Junmyeon’s boyfriend. 

 

“Awkward…” Sehun sing-songs, ignoring the death glare Yixing gives him. 

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and slaps the brat on the back of his head. 

 

“Shut up and eat your pancakes, punk no. 2. I agree with Junmyeon. Yifan does have a funny-looking face.” He smiles reassuringly at the man who nods back in thanks. “Though, I reckon he’s quite handsome at times.” Kyungsoo raises a playful brow and laughs, some others joining in with their calls of agreement as well.

 

He doesn’t notice Jongin practically sulking by the sink –– the latter playing mindlessly with the tap, allowing some water to drop in inconsistent drips as he grumbles to no one in particular that he is “way _more_ handsome than some bird”.

 

“I don’t want to see you picking on Junmyeon ever again, you got that?” Kyungsoo delivers a hard pinch to Sehun’s arm, inciting a sharp shriek from the latter. 

 

Sehun pouts (Kyungsoo swears he’s almost a carbon copy of his older brother, Jongin) and grumbles under his breath, but he does quiet down after that. 

 

As usual, Kyungsoo’s words settle it all –– albeit only being the secretary to the mafia king, he has more say over all their men most times. Even Jongin respects him and listens to his advice, unless (of course) it’s a situation where the boss doesn’t get his way, in which he will then turn annoyingly stubborn. 

 

Like how it is now for instance.

 

“Minnie ––” Xiumin scowls at the nickname Jongin uses but he doesn’t verbalise his unhappiness, “–– won’t you go in my place?” The mafia king wills his puppy eyes to appear. 

 

“Not in a million years.” The second-in-command deadpans, totally unaffected by Jongin’s act. The latter whines pathetically. 

 

Jongin was really clingy with Kyungsoo back in the days when they were still teens, so it is to everyone’s surprise that a glimmer of old Jongin emerges when he latches onto the younger’s back once again. Baekhyun chuckles into his mug when his best friend sends him a desperate _help me_ look. 

 

 _Oh my god. Why is my heart beating so fast? Calm yourself down, Kyungsoo._ The latter momentarily pinches his eyes shut to try and rein in his feelings of how much he likes the skin contact with Jongin. The other must clearly be not awake enough if he was suddenly chummy with Kyungsoo again. 

 

“But Soo ––” The elder whines, nuzzling his face into the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo barely holds back the soft whimper threatening to escape from his throat because he can feel Jongin’s erection digging into his butt. He tries to discreetly scoot forward on the stool he was perched on, but Jongin is holding him too tightly. “–– I know you love me the most right ––” 

 

Kyungsoo scoffs. _If only you know the weight of truth you speak._ He thinks bitterly. 

 

“Let me off this once? I’ll grant you anything you want!” The elder brushes his lips lightly against his skin, a touch so soft that Kyungsoo reckons he imagines it. 

 

“What is it you desire, love?” Jongin continues on to ask. “Money? A raise? I can give you Sehun’s cut from next month’s deal with th––” 

 

“W-What?! Fuck you, Jongin.” Sehun stumbles on his words.

 

“–– Or is it girls you want? I can get some of Ahreum’s sisters over for you.” 

 

It’s at this that Kyungsoo’s glass heart takes another crack. He ignores the other’s suggestive wink and stands up abruptly, elbowing Jongin with such force, it startles the other into letting go of him more than anything. 

 

“You really don’t know anything about me, do you?” Kyungsoo speaks in a tone so cold the mafia king cowers. 

 

 _I need neither women nor all the riches in the world. I only want you. Don’t you see?_ He exhales deeply. 

 

Kyungsoo is both sick and tired of waiting.

 

At Jongin’s clueless face when he next dares to look up, Kyungsoo scoffs before heading for his room, not forgetting to dump his mug in the sink on-route; the loud _clang_ making everyone in the vicinity jump. 

 

“What’s with him?” Jongin stares after his secretary, bewildered at the man’s temper. 

 

 _Is Soo mad at me?_ He pouts inwardly, clueless as to the reason why. 

 

Jongin turns back to the group, narrowing his eyes in confusion upon spotting the hard glares Baekhyun and Junmyeon sends him. 

 

“And what’s with you two?” 

 

“Obtuse fool.” Baekhyun curses under his breath, purposely bumping into the leader’s shoulder as he goes after his best friend. “I swear your brain is the size of a pea.” He sneers.

 

Chanyeol erupts into another round of choking fit just then, wheezing hard with tears escaping his eyes as he points at a frowning Jongin. “P-Pea ha! He s-said p-pea b-brain.” The male pinches his thumb and index finger together, leaving a small gap in between. “How puny.” Chanyeol snorts, voice cracking at the last word.

 

“Shut your trap, you beansprout with a –– _uhm_ a b-bean brain. Aha!” Jongin rebuts, straightening up and snapping his fingers excitedly; he must think his choice of words a rush of sudden brilliance as he fights to show just how much bigger of a brain he has over Chanyeol. 

 

Jongdae and Sehun, both engaged in their own hushed conversation, ignore the two bickering children, while Minseok and Yixing roll their eyes at the level of dumb on display. 

 

“Actually, fun fact ––” Junmyeon chimes in suddenly with the most serious voice, “–– Did you guys know beans and peas are members of one same family known as the Fabaceae? In fact, Jongin you’re wrong because beans often times are just a tad wider than ––” He is saved from a near-death experience by his boyfriend’s palm over his lips. 

 

“Not the time, Einstein.” Yixing shakes his head lightly and quickly ushers Junmyeon out of the kitchen before Jongin can throw the small knife, one that has miraculously appeared in his hand, at him.

###

“He’s an idiot, Soo. Don’t mind what he says.” Baekhyun waits on the threshold of the balcony leading out of Kyungsoo’s room for permission to join the younger.

 

His best friend cuts such a forlorn figure on the deck –– back turned, face tilted up with wide eyes surveying the heavy clouds above betraying the otherwise beautiful morning. 

 

He dare not intrude into the temporary bubble the other has built. 

 

Sighing at the silence he is replied with, Baekhyun bravely steps forward and joins Kyungsoo by the railing a couple of minutes later. 

 

“We all know that puppy is in love with you ––” 

 

The latter scoffs and shakes his head at that, to which Baekhyun frowns. 

 

“I don’t know what changed… You guys were so sweet together, we all were banking on you two getting together. Maybe Jongin just doesn’t know how to express his feelings well and it comes out looking all wrong ––” 

 

He is interrupted by the sight of unshed tears in Kyungsoo’s eyes. Heart clenching, Baekhyun squeezes the other to his side and whispers out, “Oh my poor child.” 

 

It shows just how much Kyungsoo is genuinely upset when he doesn’t end up choking the elder for calling him his kid because he had other things on his mind. 

 

“Why does it hurt, Baek? Sex is just sex. I look forward to our Fridays because I crave the intimacy with him. Jongin only fucks me because he sees me as a replacement whenever his whores are busy. I know that, but why can’t I put a stop to whatever this is between us? Why did I fall for him?” 

 

“I’m sure that’s not what he thinks…” Baekhyun tries to argue weakly. 

 

One of Kyungsoo’s inner demons is his insecurities and stubbornness that comes with. He doesn’t let himself get persuaded that Jongin likes him more than as a secretary and close friend. He feels that no matter how adept he is at handling mafia stuff, no matter how he bends to the other’s will, he will never be good enough for the mafia king.

 

He just doesn’t see the way Jongin looks at him all the time, even though the latter tries to hide his stare.

 

 _I regret it._ Kyungsoo pulls away from Baekhyun, lowers himself to sit cross-legged on the floor, and stares out at the sea before him. He would miss this view for sure when he’s gone. 

 

 _I regret when it started. I shouldn’t have said yes back when we were teens. Lying in this grey area of neither friends nor lovers… What has become of me?_

 

Maybe he wouldn’t have fallen in love –– a love so blind, a love so hurtful. 

 

“I don’t know for how long more I can take this.” The other’s quiet admission draws a sigh from Baekhyun, and the latter wraps a comforting arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders at once. 

 

“Should I just leave?” 

 

To just drop everything and go –– it’s a thought he entertains more and more these days.

 

“You know Jongin will never let you walk away from him.” The elder shoots down Kyungsoo’s thought at once. 

 

“Like I said, I don’t mean anything to him. Surely he wouldn’t even care.” Kyungsoo scoffs. 

 

Baekhyun opens his mouth to rebut, but the words die in his mouth. He, alongside Junmyeon, were the brains in their small group. He has two PhDs for crying out loud, but no one can seem to figure out Jongin’s enigmatic behavior. 

 

On one hand, everyone witnesses how he used to follow Kyungsoo around like a puppy all the time, even though he’s supposed to be the one with more authority in the gang; no one is a stranger to the tension shared whenever the pair were in close proximity to each other; everyone sees the smitten looks Jongin gives Kyungsoo every time the man speaks to him, even though the latter has a sharp tongue and likes to make derogatory remarks (only at him). 

 

It’s clear as day to everyone bar Kyungsoo himself that Kim Jongin loves his little secretary. 

 

But on the other hand, the mafia king has also started to act like a playboy in recent months. It had started right after that infamously memorable fight with the Bangtans; their gang suffered heavy casualties that day (but so did the other group, as Sehun liked to boast). He had wild nights in their clubs after that, and he had girls over frequently. It’s only natural that everyone draws the conclusion that he sleeps with them as well. What else could they have been doing in Jongin’s bedroom? Painting one another’s nails? Gossiping? 

 

These are what breaks Kyungsoo’s heart, because it shows that all the past Friday nights they’ve spent under the sheets together meant nothing to Jongin. 

 

He’s just like one of them –– Kyungsoo thinks he’s no better than the prostitutes who visit Jongin.

 

It’s thus not his fault that he always acts all cold and speaks harshly to the mafia king; it’s his very own defense mechanism. 

 

He’s trying to persuade himself to hate the other. 

 

(If only it will work.)

###

“Be a man, Kim Jongin.” He gives himself a stern look in the mirror and clenches both fists before raising them up in a determined self-cheer.

 

“When Soo walks in, you will kiss the life out of –– _wait_ ” Jongin shakes his head frantically and pats both his cheeks to temporarily rid himself of rated thoughts. “–– You will finally confess to him how much he means to you.”

 

 _Uh huh!_ He nods to himself.

 

“And then you kiss the life out of him after he weeps tears of joy!” The mafia king adds as an afterthought, giving himself a mental pat on the back right when the doors to his bedroom creak open slowly. 

 

 _There he is._ Jongin almost forgets to subconsciously breathe in at Kyungsoo’s appearance; every cell in his body tingles with how much he wants to jump forward and squish the other to his chest, to just hold him tight and never let go.

 

But he holds back. 

 

“I’ve been waiting.” 

 

Jongin mentally applauds himself for adopting such an aloof voice, because (1) it shows he’d succeeded in controlling his urges, and (2) he hopes it paints him as a manly, sexy man.

 

 _And then Kyungsoo will fall even deeper for me and we’ll kiss and shuffle over to the bed and ahem ahem._ He can’t help but gleefully add the last thought in his mind.

 

Jongin never was the smartest bloke. 

 

He stalks over to the bed and settles down with his back against the headboard. 

 

Kyungsoo takes one look at him and steps closer with a blank look on his face. 

 

It’s Friday night again. 

 

As usual, Kyungsoo had been expecting to be called into Jongin’s room. This time though, there was a hint of something else –– another expression he can’t read, on the mob boss’ face. 

 

The younger pauses slightly. _Please don’t tell me he wants to put a stop to this._ The girls have been coming over more frequently in recent days; _does he no longer have any need for me?_ It’s a painful thought, but Kyungsoo still wishes for their nights together. 

 

He looks up at Jongin’s somewhat excited expression, and he doesn’t think he wants to know what it is the other wants to say for fear of being shut out. 

 

“Let’s just get it over with.” Kyungsoo opines before tugging off his shirt. If casual sex could make Jongin happy, he wouldn’t mind. The few seconds the collar of his shirt gets caught by his head prevents him from seeing how Jongin flinches at his words. 

 

“Kyungsoo, I ––” The latter bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from speaking when Kyungsoo bends forward to step out of his shorts, climbing onto the bed only after he remains in his tight briefs. 

 

 _Shit._ Jongin curses and quashes down the whimper threatening to bubble up in his throat because _hot damn! Kyungsoo looks so good. As usual._ “W-Wait ––” 

 

The mafia king had a slightly different take on how this night should play out as compared to the rest of their rendezvous sessions, but it seems like his plan has to be put on hold. “I-I wanted to tell y-you something important first –– _ahhh…_ ” Jongin can’t help but moan when Kyungsoo digs his hand past the waistband of his pants and boxers to wrap his fingers around Jongin’s gradually hardening flesh enthusiastically. 

 

“Fuck.” He had planned on starting off with the confession first, but it seems like it’d have to wait. _Ahreum is going to be so mad at me._ He allows his mind to wander briefly before he loses all senses except for those which seemed to convene at the point where Kyungsoo wraps his lips around the mushroom head of his cock, after having pulled out the member from under the cloth of his pants. 

 

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin pants, hand cupping the other’s cheek as his thumb caresses the skin above where he can feel his own cock pressing against the walls of Kyungsoo’s mouth, forming a bulge in his cheeks. Big, beautiful eyes were fixed on him, and Jongin moans even louder when the younger sucks him in as deep as he can take. 

 

 _I love you. Oh god, I love you so much and you don’t even know it._ He wants to say it out loud, but Jongin is too scared to do so now. Instead, he settles for gazing fondly at Kyungsoo as the latter bobs his head, making good work up and down his length. 

 

“I’ll come soon if you keep it up.” The elder warns.

 

Kyungsoo pulls off him and leaves a chaste kiss at the tip. How he looks so innocent while doing that lewd action drives Jongin crazy. 

 

“Off.” The younger tugs at his pants roughly, only managing to slide off both pants and boxers when the mafia king lifts his hips to help. Kyungsoo then pops open each of Jongin’s dress shirt’s buttons slowly, eyes never once leaving the elder’s face as he dives in to press kisses on the golden skin bared. 

 

At this moment, at least he knows he has Jongin’s body. It’s but temporary contentment. 

 

Kyungsoo only hopes (in vain he believes) that one day he can be the rightful owner of the man’s heart as well. 

 

“You drive me crazy, Soo.” Jongin hauls the other’s body upwards –– their bodies sliding against each other’s –– bringing with it a wave of pleasure, and smashes his lips against Kyungsoo’s. 

 

“I always have such a great time with you.” 

 

The younger almost lets out a soft sob mid-kiss. Kyungsoo loves this connection with Jongin; he loves how the other likes to nibble on his bottom lip for him to open up before sliding his tongue in to dance with his own. 

 

But he also feels great sadness at Jongin’s last words. 

 

 _I always have such a great time with you._

 

He can’t help but wonder if the other was making comparisons of them having sex with when Jongin lets the prostitutes come over. Kyungsoo feels the desperation behind Jongin’s lips as they melt against his urgently. 

 

He interprets it as the elder growing impatient for sexual release. 

 

And he wants to satisfy Jongin. Even if it’s at his own psychological expense. 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know that the only thoughts running in the other’s head were of _god, I want to make love to him every day_ and _if I confess after this, will he say yes?_

 

It’s sad how toxic misunderstandings can get. 

 

“I love you so much, Soo.” Jongin pulls away and buries his face at Kyungsoo’s nape. The latter can feel the teeth sucking at his skin, making small possessive marks. 

 

 _It’s the lust talking._ Kyungsoo concludes. He wishes that if only Jongin meant what he said. The younger was painfully hard, cock pressing against the tight briefs he still has on. 

 

“Holy shit.” Jongin exhales deeply, watching as Kyungsoo leans back on his heels before shimmying off his underwear. Not a word more uttered, the smaller man crawls off Jongin’s body and reaches for the bottle of lube he knows is kept in the other’s bedside drawer. 

 

“Take me, Jongin.” The said man almost chokes on his saliva when Kyungsoo kneels in front of him, pops open the cap, coats his fingers in the sticky gel, and reaches down to insert two of his own digits into himself. 

 

“I’m all yours, Jongin.” Kyungsoo sinks down onto his fingers and rolls his hips, his spare hand coming up to play with his sensitive nipples. 

 

 _My heart is yours, Jongin._ The mob boss was staring slack-jawed, and Kyungsoo only wishes Jongin can hear the words he was trying to convey to him with his eyes. 

 

“Always.” The younger whispers. 

 

That seemed to break Jongin out of his reverie. 

 

Kyungsoo squeals when the other lunges forward to grab onto both his arms and spins them around. This all accomplished in a split second, because he next finds himself lying on the bed with Jongin’s body hovering above his. Only their groins stayed in contact. 

 

“Say that again, Soo. Do you really mean that?” There was a shimmer of what looked like hope in Jongin’s eyes, and Kyungsoo is stunned into silence. 

 

“W-What?” He makes out very coherently before jerking his hips up into Jongin’s, choosing to prioritise his carnal desires over second-guessing what the other had meant. 

 

“Come on already.” Kyungsoo whines, rubbing himself against Jongin’s erection. 

 

 _I’m all yours, Jongin. Always._

 

The mafia king feels blissed out, not at his impending high brought on by orgasm, but from Kyungsoo’s words. Because that is as close as he can get to the definition of a confession from the younger. 

 

 _That was a confession right?_

 

“Are you in love with me?” Jongin forgets to add the word _too_ in his excitement and hurry.

 

Kyungsoo actually stills and blinks up at the elder, startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. He feels the head of Jongin’s cock tracing his rim lightly for several seconds before it slips into him, just a tiny inch. 

 

The other male was obviously holding out for a reply. 

 

Kyungsoo chooses to remain silent instead.

 

“Are you ––” When Jongin opens his mouth again to repeat his question, Kyungsoo takes the liberty to grab onto the base of the other’s cock and pulls him in fully. The pair moans in unison when Jongin breaches the younger to the hilt. 

 

“K-Kyungsoo.” Jongin grits his teeth, withholding a hiss after experiencing the sudden tight warmth enveloping his cock. His previous words die in his throat. 

 

Pulling his hips back and snapping in fast, once; he tests the waters. After gaining satisfaction that Kyungsoo was comfortable, Jongin rocks in and out of the other in a familiar, rapid pace. 

 

He no longer sought answers to a question of his own, but euphoria first. 

 

“Fuck.” Kyungsoo whimpers as his hands grip onto Jongin’s arms tightly, the latter still pumping into him. 

 

“Jongin.” The younger stares and stares, pleased that the other was looking right back at him. 

 

 _Of course, I love you._ He tries to say, and for a split second, Kyungsoo almost thinks Jongin did read his mind for the edges of his lips curl up subtly. 

 

“More please. Give me more, Jongin.” 

 

And the other does speed up, each thrust accurately jabbing against that one spot within Kyungsoo, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. They have been doing this far too often that their bodies were already accustomed to each other.

 

Except, the latter didn’t quite mean _more_ physically.

 

 _Give me more, Jongin. I want you to tell me you love me._

 

Both males reach their climaxes together –– Kyungsoo crying out loud as he comes untouched, Jongin still thrusting in and out of him languidly, milking himself of his cum before his body gives a final spurt and shudder. 

 

“Oh god, I love you so much.” The elder slumps down on Kyungsoo and clings onto the latter’s sides, nosing along the length of the man’s neck. The pair then stays wrapped around each other, minds still very much up in the clouds in their post-coital bliss.

 

When it becomes easier to breathe once more, Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s face carefully in his hands and leans down to slot their lips together. Gone was the urgency, gone was the lust, and all that remains as they kiss slowly were both their earnest thoughts of showing the other just how much he means to him –– that what they have isn’t just something casual and temporary; the way they love may be reckless, but it doesn’t in any way mean it’s less valid. 

 

Jongin pulls back and stares into Kyungsoo’s eyes with sincere appreciation. 

 

“I have something very important to say to you, Soo.” He starts off nervously, grateful for the silent go-ahead he gets from the other. 

 

“We can’t do this anymore.” He gestures between them. Unbeknownst to him, Kyungsoo’s face falls and the other’s heart breaks at his comment. 

 

Now Jongin has gone and cut off the last remaining strand of intimacy they shared, Kyungsoo thinks. 

 

“All these time, when we were together… it’s been ––” 

 

“Fun? I was just great entertainment, wasn’t I, Jongin?” 

 

The elder’s face hardens in confusion at Kyungsoo’s interjection. 

 

_What?_

 

“I’m a great fuck. You have Ahreum and your girls on other days of the week, I only come into the picture on occasional Fridays. But you’re sick of me now. That’s what you meant to say right? I get it. It’s cool.” 

 

 _No, no, no._ Jongin shakes his head frantically. What he meant by saying _“We can’t do this anymore”_ is that he wants to put an end to all the times they had been having casual sex, because he wants more now. The other isn’t just a dispensable fling –– Kyungsoo has always meant so much to him, and he is trying to gather courage to finally confess his true feelings for the other. 

 

“I meant to say I lo ––” 

 

“I admit it was all fun and games for me too.” 

Jongin freezes when Kyungsoo cuts in suddenly, and when the words the other spoke registers in his brain. 

 

“Being so occupied with managing all the triad’s stuff for you, you were a good outlet to deal with all those pent up sexual agony. Fucking your boss… it feels great.” The younger shrugs. The nonchalant manner in which he says it leads Jongin to believe that the other doesn’t quite see him in the same light after all. 

 

 _I meant to say I love you._ His words die in his throat.

 

Devastated, the elder pulls out of Kyungsoo and slides off the bed. Jongin quickly finds his boxers on the ground and dresses himself in only that, before making his way over to the door. 

 

“I never saw you as just a casual fuck, Soo. You mean the world to me.” He turns back to face Kyungsoo who was sitting silently in the middle of the vast bed. 

 

“And I know plenty of my actions contradict what I have just said, but know that everything I do has its reasons.” 

 

The silence was stifling. 

 

“But since you’ve made clear your feelings… let’s end this. Whatever this is.” Jongin gestures between them wildly. 

 

“I lose, Soo. I fold.” He holds up his arms before letting them drop to his sides. “I thought you loved me too.” The elder sighs deeply before exiting the room. 

 

Kyungsoo stares at the closed door and doesn’t hold back his tears from falling. 

 

 _You mean the world to me._ He can’t stop thinking about what Jongin had just said. The younger buries his face in his palms. _I thought you loved me too._ Kyungsoo feels his heart constricting because he sees from Jongin’s expression earlier that the mafia king had been sincere in his words.

 

 _So Baek and Junmyeon were right when they said Jongin loves me?_ He scoffs because he should have known not to bet against those two. 

 

“I take it back.” Kyungsoo whispers to the silence of the room, finally grasping what he had just done; how he had just pushed the very man he yearned for away because of his stubbornness and misjudgment. 

 

“If you love me, please don’t go.” He says.

 

But it is all for nought. Jongin wasn’t going to come back. 

 

The other had said he’d lost, but why is Kyungsoo the one who feels worse off? 

 

BREAK HERE!!!

###

“I’m disappointed in you, Jongin.”

 

The said male sighs at the comment and falls back onto his bed. 

 

“I’m so dumb.” He stares at the vast ceiling above with a blank look on his face. 

 

Ahreum hovers her head over his a second later and smirks. 

 

“That you are.” She nods in all seriousness, ignoring the affronted _hey!_ Jongin lets out. 

 

“Kyungsoo doesn’t love me. I only thought he did. My mind was probably playing tricks on me.” The mafia king groans and rolls back and forth to the corners of the bed in frustration. 

 

“You know, that’s not true at all.” A high-pitched voice chirps from the side. Jongin turns his head to the right lazily and groans again when he is met with Chae Ah’s raised eyebrow, a stern look also etched on her face, much like that of her sister, Ahreum’s. 

 

The rest of the girls loitering at the various spots in his room rush to gather around him in a circle and a chorus of “I swear to god, that man is besotted with you like you are with him” and “Kyungsoo loves you, you dumb fuck” gains momentum.

 

Startled at the sudden racket, Jongin sits up on his bed and scowls at his company. 

 

“You know… I invite you guys here all the time for some relationship advice, not for you to scream, shout and scold me. How dare you guys even go to the lengths of questioning my intellect.” He glares. 

 

Not a second passes before a heavy hand lands at the back of his head.

 

“Don’t be rude to your Noonas.” Ahreum, the owner of said hand, scowls at him as the rest of the ladies giggle at his misery. Jongin wants to shout out angrily that he’s a mean mob boss and that they should all bow before him, but he also knows he’s severely outnumbered and that these girls can do some serious damage with their long nails, so he settles for a petulant pout. 

 

“Relationship advice? Get real ––“ Chae Ah snorts before her palm comes up to cover her own mouth. “Your boys still think we have an orgy every time us girls come over. In fact, I’m pretty sure our stay overs are what prompted all the rumors of you sleeping around.” 

 

“Imagine how everyone would react if they discover we’re only your secret counsel, teaching you ways to woo Kyungsoo.” The girls erupt in a collective bout of giggles. 

 

“I bet Sehun and Chanyeol will get a stroke from laughing so hard.” 

 

Jongin sulks even harder. His close confidantes were making fun of him for his incompetence to manage his love affairs, because despite his fierce outlook and cutthroat profession, the mafia king is an actual shy, softy at heart who doesn’t know how to properly tell the man he loves “I love you” without stuttering through the eight letters and three syllables. 

 

“Jongin.” 

 

The seriousness in the way Ahreum calls for his attention casts a blanket of silence in the room. “Perhaps we should stop visiting. We’re prostitutes so it doesn’t matter much, but your reputation will be tarnished if you keep having us over.” Her hand was massaging his head and Jongin sighs in contentment.

 

“You know why I first asked you guys over. You also know I don’t care about how others see and think of me.” He stares up pointedly at the head lady of the house. 

 

“But what about Kyungsoo? Don’t you see you’re hurting him too by letting him believe that we’re here having sex with you every other day? Also, the way you act aloof with him most times in front of others… that has got to hurt.” 

 

Jongin stills at that. 

 

“Soo can’t really be thinking that right?” He adds weakly a second later, but even he isn’t convinced by his own words. He thought he’d showed the other enough affection every Friday to make up for his bipolar attitude. 

 

 _Does Kyungsoo really think I’m sleeping around?_ Jongin frowns. _But I’m only intimate with him though… He should know I only want him._

 

Ahreum ignores his comment. “The Bangtans have been backing off in the recent months right? Maybe we can put a stop to this act now.” She suggests.

###

Contrary to popular belief that Jongin has a whole brothel of prostitutes to service his sexual needs all the time, no one bar the current occupants of this room know for a fact that the whole reason why the mafia king had started inviting Ahreum and the girls over isn’t for meaningless sex, but because of their rivalry with the Bangtans and the threat they posed.

 

A few months ago, EXO had suffered great losses at a fight with the Bangtans over territories in the East –– Jongin had lost several close friends and allies, and some of his inner team had been injured pretty badly. Till this day, Chanyeol still walks with a slight hobble in his gait. But the most horrific memory of all that the mafia king will never ever forget is having Kyungsoo half-conscious and bleeding out in his arms. 

 

Jongin almost died that day, not of physical injuries, but from the way he felt his heart got ripped out of his chest at the thought of losing Kyungsoo. 

 

Everyone at the scene had witnessed his near breakdown as he yelled repeatedly for the little man to stay awake. 

 

 _“So that’s your weakness, Kim Jongin. Your lovely, little secretary.”_ The leader of the opposing gang stares, fixated, at the man he has just struck down and the other clutching the barely breathing one to his chest. A small sinister smile grows on his face. 

 

Jongin would glare daggers at him, but he is too taken with willing Kyungsoo to stay alive because _you can’t die on me, Soo. I forbid you to!_ He was in a state of panic. 

 

Everyone at the scene had witnessed the amount of love and sorrow pouring from him, and targeted at the younger in his arms. Only Kyungsoo stayed oblivious to it all for he had already succumbed to unconsciousness. 

 

“This isn’t over, Kim. I’ll make you pay for today.” The other mafia leader leaves him a last warning before taking off as the sound of sirens fills the air. 

 

It’s only a little while later that Sehun comes to him. 

 

“Bro, we need to go. Now! Come on!” The youngest tugs at Jongin’s arm hard, but the latter does not budge, staying stubbornly still so that he doesn’t upset Kyungsoo’s injuries even further. 

 

“The police are almost upon us. Let’s go, Jongin.” 

 

Sehun comes over to his front after that and hooks both his arms under Kyungsoo’s neck and under the back of his knees. 

 

“I’ll be very careful.” The younger says when Jongin shoots him a warning look. 

 

“Let’s bring Kyungsoo home? He’ll be alright, trust me.” Sehun gives him a reassuring smile and stands with the secretary in his arms. Only then did the mafia king struggle to his feet and hobble alongside his brother as they make their way around the bend to their getaway car where Jongdae was poised over the wheel. 

 

He’d been too distracted with Kyungsoo to even notice that his ankle got hurt as well. 

 

“I’m sorry, Soo.” Jongin whispers, leaning down towards the face of the man lying across the backseat, Kyungsoo’s head propped on his thighs. It was a mistake allowing Kyungsoo to follow them onto the field –– he, Baekhyun and Junmyeon are the only three who weren’t trained fighters in their gang. 

 

 _I swore to protect you. I failed, I’m sorry._

 

He looks distraught. 

 

“We’ll get you to Yixing. You’ll be fine.” 

 

_Please be fine._

 

Jongin gives Kyungsoo’s cheek a gentle caress before he leans down to press a lasting kiss on the man’s forehead. 

 

“I promise to protect you better from now on.” The elder no longer cared if there were prying eyes from the front seats. 

 

_I love you, Soo. They won’t hurt you anymore. I swear it._

###

His enemies came to know of his weakness that night onwards, and Jongin knows it will only be a matter of time before the Bangtans come for Kyungsoo again.

 

Thus, to fulfil his promise of keeping the younger safe, the mafia king had disguised his love, and not in the most conventional way either –– Jongin had reached out to his long-time friend, Ahreum, explained everything to her, and together they had planned how to draw attention away from his secretary. 

 

Because of who they were, it was easy for everyone else to assume that Jongin had fallen out of love with Kyungsoo and instead, has opted to play with the girls from the brothel for a good time. 

 

He did still ask for his secretary every Friday though, so there were even some nasty rumors going around their lowest-level members that humiliated Kyungsoo –– how the younger was such a slut, still desperate to cling onto Jongin for sex, and how the mafia king must have taken pity on him and obliged. 

 

All in all, it painted Kyungsoo in a very bad light. 

 

Jongin doesn’t do anything to quiet the chatter, only because he knows he has to make it believable that the younger no longer meant anything to him. 

 

No one knows though that the mafia king treasures every Friday night for it spells precious time alone with his love, and how he spends Saturdays through Thursdays with Ahreum and the girls over, doing nothing but gossiping and sharing advice on how to best spend time with Kyungsoo the following Friday. 

 

However, the worst result of his act is undoubtedly how Kyungsoo misunderstood his heart. Jongin couldn’t tell the other of his plans because it was simply too risky; they spend so much time together everyday for gang stuff, it would be very obvious if they were lovers operating under the pretense of scorned exes. 

 

He had to make it believable, even under the watchful eyes of his men. Junmyeon had once pointed out the possibility of having a rouge in their midst, because previous occurrences which led to the huge fight against the Bangtans screamed iffy. Hence, Jongin wasn’t going to take a chance.

 

It was precisely because of his change in demeanour and his change in attitude towards Kyungsoo in the public domain, which led to the souring of their Fridays together. 

 

Where there were once hours of just snuggling and relishing in the comfortable presence of the other, there is now only short sessions of them engaging in sexual intercourse fueled by lust born from how much they missed each other in times spent outside the bedroom. 

 

It seems both Jongin and Kyungsoo were equally guilty partners in the way they descended from bliss and happiness to destructive grey lines.

###

“You need to fix this soon, Jongin.”

 

He tilts his head up to look Ahreum in the eyes. 

 

“As your friend, I don’t wish to see you hurt any longer. Kyungsoo too. Don’t lose what you two have, even before you make it official with him.” She finally cracks a smile before gesturing at the rest of her sisters gathered them. “The girls and I will no longer visit from tomorrow. ” He blinks slowly, taking in the other’s words. “Our absence should do you good, I promise.” Ahreum runs her fingers through Jongin’s hair gently before sliding his head off of her lap. 

 

“W-Wait. You’re leaving already?” He sits up in a hurry. The girls were already getting up from the bed and going around gathering their belongings they had brought with them, preparing to leave. 

 

“Yes, we are.” Chae Ah pipes up and even waves at Jongin. 

 

“B-But I ––” 

 

“Is there something more you need to ask us, Jongin?” Ahreum cuts in. 

 

He nods frantically. “How am I to face Kyungsoo tomorrow after walking out on him like that earlier?” The mafia king cuts a forlorned figure as he worries his bottom lips with his teeth. “He said it was all fun and games for ––”

 

“And do you believe him?” 

 

“What?” Jongin stops short. 

 

“Do you really believe Kyungsoo when he says screwing around with you is just open-inverted commas fun and games?” Ahreum stares at him with such disdain. 

 

“I d-don’t know what to think.” He admits finally. 

 

Ahreum and Chae Ah exchange looks before the latter exhales deeply. “I don’t know why we put up with your dumbness.” Jongin feels too numb to even retort. “The Kyungsoo I know is a person who doesn’t take shit from anyone. He is serious when he commits to something, and he is too smart to be manipulated by others.”

 

He nods slowly. Not a word coming from Chae Ah’s mouth spoke of a lie. 

 

“Do you think a man like that will readily leave his body to your will when he comes to you every Friday, if he didn’t have feelings for you too?

 

Jongin takes a long time to digest his thoughts; the girls were long gone by the time he reached his conclusion.

 

And so for the very first time, the mafia king calls for his love on a Saturday.

###

Except, Kyungsoo doesn’t show up like Jongin was expecting him to.

 

He had it all planned out –– he was going to set things right once and for all, screw the intention of distancing himself so that his enemies will not come for Kyungsoo; Jongin was going to confess his love, and this time, he will do it straightaway and let no distractions delay him. 

 

His plan would have worked out, if only the star of the show was present. 

 

Jongin leaves his room and stalks over to Kyungsoo’s, entering over the threshold without even hesitating. He frowns when he is greeted only by an empty room. _Weird._ It is rare for the other to not come when he is called –– even as Jongin’s secretary, the younger was always at his beck and call. 

 

 _Unless he is avoiding me after what happened yesterday?_ The mafia king pouts and makes his way to the kitchen where he bumps into Baekhyun and Minseok. “Have you seen Soo?” Jongin asks. “He was supposed to be in my room by six. I told ––”

 

He pauses at the withering look he gets from Baekhyun. Jongin just knows the other must be thinking he wants a quick tryst with Kyungsoo, but he doesn’t correct Baekhyun now for he had other things to get to –– other things which meant more to him. 

 

“Kyungsoo went out with Junmyeon after lunch.” Minseok supplies him with an answer. “I overheard them talking about a grocery list of sorts... I would presume that they are at e-Mart.” 

 

“It’s now 7pm.” Jongin deadpans. “Who the hell does grocery shopping for more than 4-5 hours?” He snaps his fingers at Baekhyun and gestures at the phone lying on the table in front of him. “Can you call Soo now? I would call him myself, but I wouldn’t think he will pick up.” 

 

Baekhyun’s hard stare doesn’t let up even as he dials his best friend’s number. 

 

Just then, Yixing walks into the kitchen just as his hand holding onto his phone lowers from beside his ear. “Have you guys seen Junmyeon?” He frowns before muttering under his breath. “Why isn’t he back yet? I’m getting worried.” Jongin looks over to the other in concern. 

 

“Soo’s phone is turned off.” Baekhyun adds from his seat, bringing his attention back to him.

 

“What?” Minseok exclaims, just as the blood drains from Jongin’s face. Because rule number one in the mafia –– always keep all lines of communication open in case the boss needs to reach you urgently. Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are both well aware of that rule, especially the latter since he was the one who created it in the first place.

 

It is worrying that now two of their guys have yet to return from what should be a simple outing to stock up on food. 

 

“You don’t think something bad has happened to Soo, do you?” Jongin sidles up to Minseok at once. The latter affords to pat him on the hand twice before he too rushes to stand along with Baekhyun. 

 

“I would _hope_ not, but unfortunately I think yes.” The second-in-command presses his lips together in a straight line. Jongin just about dies on the inside because just the thought of losing Kyungsoo before he even made him his has him tortured. “Baek, gather the rest of the guys.” Minseok instructs. 

 

Jongin whips out his gun and makes to follow Baekhyun out of the room, only to find his path obstructed by Minseok. “Get out of my way.” He growls. Every second wasted is a second more that Kyungsoo is in danger. 

 

And just the memory of the other bleeding out in his arms like before has him––

 

“You need to calm down, Jongin.” The eldest forces him down onto a seat bravely. Unlike the mafia king, Yixing was still pretty collected as he paces around the kitchen. “What’s the point of going out there, threatening people with your gun for information that you know you’re not going to get? You’ll just be wasting your time.” 

 

Jongin brushes aside Minseok’s arm roughly, but he doesn’t try to make a break for it anymore. The other was right, of course. He lets out a frustrated cry and grabs at his hair. 

 

“What’s this I hear about Kyungsoo hyung and Junmyeon being MIA?” Sehun and Baekhyun, followed closely by the rest of the guys, pile into the kitchen not a minute later. 

 

One glance at Jongin and Minseok knows their boss isn’t in the right state of mind to run the ship. “Jongdae, Baek… I want you two to run surveillance around the neighborhood.” The two throw worrying looks over to a distraught-looking Jongin before nodding and running off. 

 

“We need men on the ground too.” Jongin pops up off his seat and whips out his gun again. “I volunteer.” He says calmly (or as calm as he can sound) before taking a step forward. 

 

“No, you don’t.” It takes a collective effort on Minseok and Sehun’s part to keep him still. “If our enemies are really behind this, do you think it’s wise if we have you parading the streets?” The second-in-command shakes him strongly before releasing his hold on Jongin. “Sehun, Chanyeol… you two go. Start from the supermarket. Call us if you find anything.” The two males nod grimly before taking off too. 

 

Minseok eyes Jongin who was slumped against the kitchen island and sighs. The mafia king looked like a shell of his former self. _And you still act like you don’t love him anymore, spending more time with the brothel girls? Please. Who are you trying to fool?_ He places a palm on Jongin’s shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.

 

Love cannot be found where it doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does –– Kissing a Fool (1998)

###

“We found them!” Jongdae bursts into the kitchen an agonisingly long fifteen minutes later, followed closely by Baekhyun who was dragging along this heavy duty laptop. That line incited quite a violent reaction from the trio occupying the kitchen –– Jongin leapt off his seat so fast he knocks his head against the low-lying lamp overhead resulting in a painful-sounding _clang_ , even Yixing who was leaning against the fridge propels forward to Jongdae.

 

“Get Sehun and Chanyeol on the line.” Baekhyun tells Minseok at once before inching closer to the laptop. “They were already out of e-Mart actually.” Jongin watches with bated breath as the other inputs some programming codes into the system to draw the surveillance cam closer. The mafia king squints and gasps when he sees the shadowy figure of his beloved Kyungsoo walking beside a person who could only be Junmyeon, both men with their arms full of plastic bags. 

 

“What’s up?” Sehun’s voice suddenly emerges from the phone Minseok had placed on loudspeaker mode. “Did Baek hyung find anything?” 

 

Jongin barely registers his brother’s voice in his mind. Pointing at Kyungsoo on the laptop, he taps the surface a couple of times and looks up at Baekhyun desperately. “Where is he now?” He urges the other to continue. 

 

“They were walking along 6th street, near the intersection with Club street ––” Baekhyun presses play, “–– but look here.” He points on the screen and inputs some secondary quotes, pausing at the next frame.

 

“Wait, where did Kyungsoo go?” Jongin grabs onto the laptop and draws it nearer to his face. 

 

“My question exactly.” Baekhyun says before leaning to the phone Minseok had placed on the island top. “Sehun, I need you and Yeol to head down to the intersection between 6th and Club Street.” They could hear disturbances in the background of the two in the streets; a sign that they were acting on Baekhyun’s instructions. “We have a blind spot. Kyungsoo and Junmyeon never made it onto 7th.” 

 

“You find him before I put a bullet into your head!” Jongin snarls into the handset. While the rest occupy themselves with listening to the war of words exchanged between the two brothers because of Jongin’s threat, Baekhyun glances at the mafia king with an unreadable expression on his face. 

 

“Shut up, Kai!” Chanyeol interrupts them suddenly. “Oh shit, duck down, Sehun ––” Everyone in the kitchen tenses up when they next hear interference before Chanyeol speaks again. “We found a questionable alley.” 

 

“And?” Minseok prompts. 

 

“I see Suga and V.” Sehun’s whisper comes through. “You guys better get your asses down right now!” 

 

 _Fucking Bangtans!_ Jongin growls and grabs his gun. “I’ll kill them.”

###

“Soo!” Jongin screams when he bursts through the door, stopping short at what he sees and feelings his heart break. “Soo.” He whispers before dropping onto his knees and reaching out with his hands. Neither the scuffle between Sehun and whoever it was at the corner of the room, nor the yells from outside and the occasional gunshots distracts him from the pain he feels.

 

Jongin quickly takes off his jacket and lays it over the exposed skin. “Soo.” He whispers again and tries to hold the man, only for Kyungsoo to slap him away. 

 

“Don’t touch me, Jongin.” The venom in his voice was deadly. “Don’t–– h-he was touching ––” Cracks start to appear in Kyungsoo’s voice as his face crumples, body wrecked by his sobs. “He tried to touch me–– I’m tainted, Jongin. Please go away. You can’t see me like this.”

 

_No, no, no._

 

Jongin gathers Kyungsoo into his embrace despite the latter’s struggles to break free. “Did he rape you?” He seethes on the inside. “What did he do?! I’ll kill him!” 

 

“No, he didn’t. But he still touched me before Sehun came.” Kyungsoo pushes his palms against his chest. “You can’t see me like this.” He continues to cry, “Even my body is of no use to you now. Stop! I can’t lose all of you please. Let go.” He yells and thrashes in Jongin’s arms. 

 

“Kill him!” The mafia king yells at Sehun before turning his attention back to Kyungsoo. “Soo...” Jongin hugs the other close and rocks them gently. “I’m sorry, Soo. I’m so sorry.” He cries along with the younger. “I’m here now. I’m here now. I won’t let anyone touch you anymore. I promise.” There was nothing more he could do except for reassuring the other and comforting him with his presence. 

 

“He’s dead, Jongin.” Sehun joins him soon after and winces when he sees Kyungsoo passed out in Jongin’s arms. “How is he? I’m sorry I was a step late ––”

 

“Don’t.” He cuts the other off. Freeing Kyungsoo’s hands from the ropes wrapped around his slim wrists and tucking him back into his boxers, pulling up his pants after, Jongin lifts Kyungsoo up as gently as he could and walks out of the room with Sehun roving around him to keep members of the enemy gang away. 

 

 _This is the last time._ Jongin peers down at the dried tracks of tears on Kyungsoo’s face. His heart had broke not just at the other’s ordeal, but also when his love had said _“Even my body is of no use to you now.”_ Because he now understands what Ahreum and Chae Ah had been telling him the night before; he now knows what fault he is at for letting this misunderstanding of him only cherishing Kyungsoo for his body breed in the younger’s mind.

###

“Soo. Are you awake?”

 

A slight furrow of his brows before the skin flattens out again. 

 

Jongin smiles. 

 

“I really don’t know what would have happened to me if you were gone just like that; if you were taken from me.” He swallows hard and traces a finger over Kyungsoo’s cheek. “The two times you almost died –– last night, and back when we were in our teens, when you got shot right in front of me –– Kim Jongin, the feared mafia king, almost died too.”

 

Jongin pauses when his finger reaches the edge of Kyungsoo’s lips. If one strains their ears, they could even hear the slight hitch in the latter’s breath. 

 

“And you know what would be the cause of my death?” Jongin laughs dryly. “Death not by murder, but of heartbreak.” He whispers, watching as a lone tear travels down from Kyungsoo’s right eye. 

 

“The pain I felt those two nights, with you hurt and dying in my arms, the pain was so immense I couldn’t will myself to breathe on. B-But ––” Jongin sniffles and wipes away Kyungsoo’s tear, “–– Do you know what hurts more than death?” It was so obvious from the way the other’s eyes move under their lids, as if he was blinking back tears desperately, that Kyungsoo was awake and hearing what he had to say. 

 

“When you dismissed me on Friday; when you insinuated that you didn’t loved me like I love you.” Jongin draws in a deep breath and tries to hold back tears of his own. “Death had nothing on your rejection.” He whispers. “Nothing.” 

 

The elder watches as Kyungsoo’s eyes finally flutter open until glazed eyes stare back at him under the blanket of regret and longing. 

 

“I thought you didn’t love me.” Kyungsoo croaks out, throat parched from the hours he had spent lying on the bed in recovery. “I thought from the way you tried to keep your distance on days other than Fridays… I thought I had lost you.” 

 

“It was all an act, Soo. The girls, the cold shoulders –– all to shield you from being a potential target for our enemies to hurt me.” Jongin leans close to press their foreheads together. 

 

“Do you really mean that?” Kyungsoo whispers. 

 

The elder hums. 

 

“You can’t play with my heart like that.” He warns. “If you push me away again just because you think I can’t handle the price of being with you… I’ll–– I’ll kill you myself.”

 

Jongin chuckles and nods his head. “Never again.” He promises. “They’re all dead. No more hiding. No more pretending. Just you and me simply.” He cups Kyungsoo’s cheeks and plants a lasting kiss on the other’s lips. “All the past hurt and misunderstandings I’ve caused… I’ll make it up to you.”

 

Jongin smiles, though Kyungsoo sees a hint of worry behind his eyes when he asks, “So what say you? Will you let me in again?” 

 

The younger presses his hands against his cheeks even after they separate, nuzzling into one of Jongin’s palms and staring up at him with endearing eyes. 

 

“So I get to keep you not only on Fridays, but now on Saturdays, Sundays, and every other day of the week too?” 

 

Jongin bursts out laughing and nods, leaning down to take Kyungsoo’s lips for a second time. “I have already reserved a permanent place in my heart for you, Do Kyungsoo.” He pokes the younger’s nose and smiles when the other goes cross-eyed before blinking. 

 

“My one and only.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought of the fic below ^^


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